Friday, March 4, 2011

Is Ken Cool?

I just heard that Ken turns 50 this month...

Which seems practically impossible because he was a mature young hunk of a plastic man when I played with him at age nine. If he was 19 or 20 back then ...and I'm going to be....
Oh, well...let's just say the math doesn't add up!

In my opinion, Ken is a metrosexual- which according to the dictionary is:
   metrosexual  (ˌmɛtrəʊˈsɛksjʊəl)
1. a heterosexual man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance and likes to shop
I really don't think he is much of a ladies man, to tell you the truth. It almost makes me question his masculinity. He and Barbie dated for years and years and he never even bought her an engagement ring! Poor Barbie- she keeps buying those wedding dresses, but Ken still doesn't get the hint! No wonder they broke up! 

He seems to cave from peer pressure- always longing to have the latest styles and fashions. Even with his hair....
Ken originally had felt hair, then got a plastic molded doo, and finally got some natural looking hair plugs that have been coiffed into everything from a mullet to a "Bieber "bob.

I suppose the guy has issues. What man would let his girlfriend buy a pink Corvette, a dream home, and allow her to prance around in public- dressed in only a bathing suit and heels?
According to Barbie's Facebook, however, she and Ken did get back together on Valentine's Day this year and her status now says she's "in a relationship".
Here's her Facebook profile information to prove the rumors are true!

Barbie's Basic Information

March 9, 1959
In a Relationship
I’m a modern doll with a classic sensibility. I’ve had over 125 careers and truly believe that if you can dream it, you can be it. I’ve traveled to the moon and multiple Fashion Weeks, been featured on the silver screen and the Twitter homepage, experienced both a highly publicized break-up AND reunion.

Inside the Dream House, things are about the same – besides all the new gadgets I’ve picked up as a Computer Engineer. You’ll find pink heels lined up in neat rows and framed pictures of all my... (read more)
Personal Information
I love my a-mazing family, my sweet boyfriend Ken, and all of you fab dolls.
Personal Interests
Glamping (glam-camping), Dining out, Volunteering, Aerobics, Performing arts, Museums and Concerts… and fashion, of course!
(Seriously- just "friend" Barbie and you can read all about it.)

  I never really thought Ken was cool, even at age nine when he lived under my bed and took baths with me. He just never seemed very dependable or successful.
And here's a lineup of all the jobs he has had. Fifty years old- and still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up:

Actor '63-'65 '74 '88 '99                      
Cowboy '80 '82 '89 '93    
Impersonator '94 '95 '99    
Roller Skater '80 '02
Alternative Lifestyle '92   
Ice Skater '89 '97 '02
Airforce '93    
Dancer '80 '88 '89 '91 '92    
Lifeguard '94    
Sailor '63-'65 '84 '92
Army '92     D
Football Player '63-'65    
Olympic Gold Medalist '74 '97    
Snow Skier '63-'65 '73 '90
Best Man '90    
Fraternity Member '63-'65    
Photographer '00 '01    
Student '99
Birthday Boy '86 '01    
Gymnast '83    
Prince '89 '94 '97 '99 '00 '01    
Tennis Player '63-'65 '74 '85
Body Builder '81    
Hair Stylist '91 '92 '99    
Pilot '89    
Tourist '78 '83 '87 '88 '90 '93 '98 '99 '01 '02
Brother '96 '99     J
Jogger/Runner '79 '80    
Pizza Delivery '88    
Campus Hero '63-'65    
King '99    
Roller Blader '91 '94     

I mean, really? Do little girls even play with fashion dolls anymore?
Especially some gender-challenged loser like Ken whose middle aged crisis has reeked considerable and irreversible damage to his reputation.

My vote:  Not cool. 


Margaret Hall said...

Mornin'~!! Ya' know what?...He is Metrosexual...C'mon, have to agree, the pic with him and dog is a little "iffy"...When my daughter had her Barbie years, she never did like Ken much, said he looked like a nerd to her!! She was more into what Barbie had to wear in fashion...Ken?...Well, when I had my doll collection, (back in the dark ages), lots of Kens were collectable..especially the ones with the attached mane of! But, I hear you~!! Love your imagination!

Tracy said...

Oh, my gosh Rae,
I remember playing hours on end with BArbie and Ken...and skipper!
They were my world; and they lived happily ever after.
What? he's only 50? but I'm 51 and certainly, oh well, like you said, it just doesn't add up!

sisterlinda said...

When we were 9 or 10 we probably fought over who would date Ken....Midge or Barbie(even though we knew he was Barbie's boyfriend).What a loser he turned out to be! If I were Barbie I would not let that 50 year old man anywhere near my dream house and definitely never give him a ride in my fancy pink car!