Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 1: Confession

Today I start my seasonal yearly infrequent top-to-bottom spring cleaning. 
I know to some of you, it is like a sweet waltz...cute, pink rubber gloves, a shot or two of Febreze, the mist of fresh lemons, fluffed up pillows and sunshine on polished floors.
But, I confess. For me it is like the demolition derby. It's mean -and dirty- and someone is bound to get hurt.

Now before you jump to conclusions, I am not a hoarder. I throw my empty egg cartons out on a regular basis, I don't own cats, and you can actually find the extra toilet paper.
But I do have a slight problem with organization. Add to that -the fact that I like to keep things because I may need them some day. 
That, my friend- is the greatest of all cleaning sins.

My brain knows that I'll probably never need that tub of scrap fabric because I'll never get around to making a quilt.
It also suspects that all those buttons and bows and stickers and beads and bangles and bobbles and boxes of stuff... will never be transformed into darling jewelry or an amazing scrap book.
My brain is also pretty sure that those fifteen pair of jeans will be out of style before I ever fit into them...that my son will never miss his old history notes...that I will never need seventeen disposable Glad containers...that those thin, left-over slivers of soap don't amount to a nickle...and it knows with almost perfect certainty that I will never break out the blue champagne flutes on New Year's Eve.

I should listen to my brain. It's real smart.
(When it doesn't listen to my heart, that is.)
My heart wants to cuddle old magazines and used picture frames and decorative pillows with needlepoint Santas. My heart wants to save worn loafers, torn nightgowns, holey socks and cowl-neck sweaters. My heart wants to preserve the electric skillet, the giant blender, the Jerky Shooter and the spice rack with the dried up cloves.

But today, dear heart of mine, you lose.
Today, my brain will rule! 
And someday you will thank me...

My new issue of Woman's Day says to take on Spring Cleaning as a series of twelve weeks. Hence, a 12-Week program. (Just like all other physical and mental abuses!) 
They say to only focus on one room a day, allowing some type of time limit to decide what to pitch and keep. And to place the "not sure" items in the garage.

Silly people! Where will we put the car?

I confess that I need this 12-Step therapy. 
I- at this very moment- have a huge 30 gallon trash bag in my front closet. No- it's not full of extra blankets, or seasonal tablecloths or crisply folded sweaters.
It is full of the contents of a junk drawer. 
A drawer in my kitchen island that we removed when we laid laminate flooring. 
Six years ago.

I have makeup in the vanity from my days with Amway- when I color coded a group of wanna-be-millionaires and painted my face with Artistry cosmetics. Yeah. That was 1993, folks.

Don't be a hater. 
I'm trying to reach out here...
I'm confessing.
And that's the first step.

The next step is getting off this computer, snapping on my cute, pink gloves and gassing up my demolition mobile! 
Come back tomorrow for Step 2: Anxiety.


sisterlinda said...

I will admit that I am NOT a keeper but can't figure out why I have junk! Our upstairs,is not used,and that is my hiding place. The 3 closets upstairs are full! What's with that? I too vow to clean it up...when the weather gets warmer...when I can open up the windows and start pitching! It's funny how I also have a stack of jeans that I can't fit my big butt in... but PROMISE to SOMEDAY!

I hope you get on a roll.I think you have given me the motivation to do the one room a day thing. I can see it now...clean and organize the bedroom and it's closets and drawers...THEN carry all the crap upstairs! It's gonna be awhile before I get upstairs and I just might be there for a week!

Good luck and happy spring cleaning!

sisterlinda said...

P.S. You mention a shot or two of febreeze...most likely it will be a shot or two of tequila for me when I FINALLY venture upstairs!

Kristin said...

Sping Cleaning? I hear that people do such a thing, but I have never ventured down that path myself. LOL! I'm afraid what would happen once I started a deep clean. I might just have a nervous break down

Dee said...

This post cracked me up. Maybe because I'm not a saver. I am constantly tossing things. I swear, if I had to move tomorrow, I could be happily packed in less than 2 hours. I just don't cling to "stuff".

lvroftiques said...

OMG! That sounds so much like me!LOL! And currently my house has run a muck. My closets have long been dangerous to open...(ya just never know when you might need a 1983 issue of Architectural Digest featuring Mario Buatta) I like to think of them as theft deterrents because they could come crashing down if one item is removed like a giant game of Jenga...heh heh that'd teach em not to steal from the middle aged hoarder! Anyhoo I wish you the best of luck! I really do feel so much better when my house is orderly and clean. So maybe you'll inspire me *winks* Vanna

Cathy said...

Oh my, do I ever need to start Spring Cleaning! Even just a weekly cleaning would help...I have items in my dresser drawers in our bedroom that have been there - packed in the clothing in the drawers - since we moved here. That's over 3 years ago. Yep, way overdue. I do think one day at a time is the way to start though...but I was at Goodwill today and instead of throwing away, I brought more stuff in!

Margaret Hall said...

OMGosh~!!Rae, this was hilarious~!! And, we must have fallen from the same family DNA tree~! I have to start evaluating and eliminating some stuff around here, and the funny thing is that I thought I had a handle on it until last week and I did that little craft thingie that was over a year old and it made me start dragging out fabric, doodads, lace, buttons, blah, blah~!! Then, I looked at the calendar and knew that I had to BE SOMEWHERE~!! Then the windows are crummy...the floor is BAD, and the 3 year old shower curtain is lousy and I hate it...Yeah, Spring cleanin', I say...Ready troups???
Love the post, Rae~!!