Tuesday, January 4, 2011

3D? Not For Me!

During the holiday rush, there were so many new high-tech toys to choose from. And by toys, I mean adult electronics and awesome gadgets that make my entertainment inventory look obsolete. Things sure have changed...
I remember back when my brothers were ecstatic over Rock-em Sock-em Robots- and now kids can punch to their hearts content with the XBox Kinect.

And my sister Linda and I fainted at the chance to actually own a small slate chalkboard with a box of rainbow colored chalk. (Who cares that we had to use toilet paper to erase with?) Now there's iPad. (iPod? iPad? iPhone?- iCan't Afford them!)
Sorry, but what child would want a set of cool walkie-talkies when they can possess a Blackberry or an Android? (My cell phone is so old that I have to use a hammer and chisel to send a message!)
One new product that just began hitting the shelves this season was the 3-D television. If you're the kind of person that likes to feel as though Johnny Depp has just swash buckled his way into your bedroom (Yes, I know you do, JoAnn!)- then the high price tags may not deter you from this ultimate experience.
However, the price of the 3-D glasses alone were enough to make me pause and reconsider. At $150 to $300 a pop, I envisioned the consequences of owning such luxury...

(Video Daydream starts here...)

The new 3-D television is set up in all its humongous flat-screened glory in my family room. Ignore the fact that it's only two and a half feet from our eyeballs in this long, narrow room, but that's a sacrifice we're willing to pay to have Jurassic Park dinosaurs tumble into our laps. 
I've just popped a pig-sized bowl of buttery popcorn, iced down a two-liter of Coke, and snuggled up on my favorite chair to watch this spectacular new TV do it's dimensional magic.

"Where's the 3-D glasses?" my husband asks.

"Ugh...I don't know. You had them last." I reply.

"No. You did. I had you clean them, remember?

"Yeah, but I handed them back to you when you were connecting those ten thousand ugly cables to the back of the surround sound." I remind him.

"Well, I don't have them."

"Well, I don't either. So, how are we gonna watch our 3-D TV without 3-D TV glasses?" I ask.

This video daydream has a few alternate endings.

Our dog shows up munching on an unidentifiable object that looks suspiciously like two hundred dollar glasses....or....My husband cranks back the Lazy Boy and we hear a sickening crunch of plastic eye wear...

I can see it all...
Yes. These new high tech 3-D televisions are recipes for disaster at my house. We've lost remotes in the couch cushions, cordless phones have disappeared into thin air, and cell phone chargers have actually gotten up and walked out of the house somewhere.
Sadly, I must face the fact that we are not responsible adults. We can't handle any extra add-ons to the already overwhelming scientific and perplexing world of gadgetry.  Our technology IQ's are pretty low on the totem pole, I have to admit.

Oh, it just makes me look back on the early days...when we had to get up off our butt pillows to turn the channels. Or twist the metal knobs to find a station that "came in"... Or one that was on past midnight.
I remember when we were first married, my husband pulled on his robe and cowboy boots one night and climbed the antenna to try and pick up better reception. There I was with the window wide open in freezing weather, sticking my head out every three seconds to yell "Yes! No!Better!". And more likely than not, we watched Saturday Night Live through a veil of snow and tinny voices.

Maybe next year. Maybe when they come out with 3-D with no glasses. Maybe when we educate ourselves to the liability of owning such luxury equipment.

For now, we'll just eat our popcorn and drink our sodas and settle down to some fine old black and white movies on TMC.

Still ...I can't help dreaming about Johnny Depp....

Eat your heart out, JoAnn! :)


dee said...

Wow. Things sure have changed since we were kids, eh? 3D at home?

Mama Jewel said...

You sure have it right Rae! I can't believe all of the new electronic thing-a-ma-jigs that are out now. Before Christmas we got a new LED Flatscreen TV and Blu-ray player. No NORMAL person could figure out how to hook it all together (it worked with our computer (WI-FI) which made it possible to download movies from Netflix right on the TV and even access Facebook! Of course, we had to have Taylor come over and do his computer magic to get it working! Rick bought me an I-Pod Touch for Christmas this year! Love it, but I had to have Shannon (14 year old granddaugher)come over and "sync" it with my computer and download "Aps" for it. I would never have figured it out myself. I now have Channel 2 live radar, police scanner, FB, Google and games on it. I even (with Shan's help) downloaded my favorite movie, "While You Were Sleeping" and "Toy Story 3" in HD onto this tiny little thing!! I am still amazed at what it can do. But like "3D Glasses", you better not lose your charger and cables and all the accessories or your in one big mess!! Love ya.

GAIL said...

Well....I would go just about ANYTHING for Johnny Depp but I don't really want to have to wear those stupid glasses just to see him. He looks just fine to me on any screen!
Hey Captain Jack!!! I am over here!!! And I am still waiting for you to knock on my front door!!!
Hugs, Gail

sisterlinda said...

The world of electronics sure has changed! I remember when I use to love playing pong of the Atari!

Our new tv is supposedly 3D ready...whatever that means.I haven't read the entire 100 page plus owners manual yet!(in fact I haven't read any of it) I can tell you that I won't be investing in $100 glasses just to view it...not unless those glasses come with their own tracking device! Like you, most of the time I would forget where I placed them (for safe storage) to keep out of the grandkids hands or keeping Ernie and Maxie from mistaking them for a chew toy!

Let's just all leave a little to the imagination! Like your friend,JoAnn....bet she don't mind letting her imagination run a little wild over Johnny!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

I remember loving him on 21 Jump Street.

As for 3D Tv, I do not want one even if it was free. I think it is icky and it must be bad for your eyes. It's got to be, right?

I love your new blog!

Joann Mannix said...

Okay, just the sentence alone, "...As though Johnny Depp has just swashbuckled his way into your bedroom..., made my heart go all a-flutter. I do believe I might just have to invest in some of that 3-D paraphernalia.

And by the way, I LOVED Rock Em Sock Em Robots.

I have always said they need to invent a universal locator, that would beep so I could find my car keys, our cell phones, our chargers and our remotes. We actually have a TV right now that can only be turned off with the remote. It's really unfortunate when we lose that remote.

I'm going over to my blog right now and updating your site. I've totally been missing your posts because I have your old blog address up. Going right now.