During the holiday rush, there were so many new high-tech toys to choose from. And by toys, I mean adult electronics and awesome gadgets that make my entertainment inventory look obsolete. Things sure have changed...
I remember back when my brothers were ecstatic over Rock-em Sock-em Robots- and now kids can punch to their hearts content with the XBox Kinect.
And my sister Linda and I fainted at the chance to actually own a small slate chalkboard with a box of rainbow colored chalk. (Who cares that we had to use toilet paper to erase with?) Now there's iPad. (iPod? iPad? iPhone?- iCan't Afford them!)
Sorry, but what child would want a set of cool walkie-talkies when they can possess a Blackberry or an Android? (My cell phone is so old that I have to use a hammer and chisel to send a message!)
One new product that just began hitting the shelves this season was the 3-D television. If you're the kind of person that likes to feel as though Johnny Depp has just swash buckled his way into your bedroom (Yes, I know you do, JoAnn!)- then the high price tags may not deter you from this ultimate experience.
However, the price of the 3-D glasses alone were enough to make me pause and reconsider. At $150 to $300 a pop, I envisioned the consequences of owning such luxury...
(Video Daydream starts here...)
The new 3-D television is set up in all its humongous flat-screened glory in my family room. Ignore the fact that it's only two and a half feet from our eyeballs in this long, narrow room, but that's a sacrifice we're willing to pay to have Jurassic Park dinosaurs tumble into our laps.
I've just popped a pig-sized bowl of buttery popcorn, iced down a two-liter of Coke, and snuggled up on my favorite chair to watch this spectacular new TV do it's dimensional magic.
"Where's the 3-D glasses?" my husband asks.
"Ugh...I don't know. You had them last." I reply.
"No. You did. I had you clean them, remember?
"Yeah, but I handed them back to you when you were connecting those ten thousand ugly cables to the back of the surround sound." I remind him.
"Well, I don't have them."
"Well, I don't either. So, how are we gonna watch our 3-D TV without 3-D TV glasses?" I ask.
This video daydream has a few alternate endings.
Our dog shows up munching on an unidentifiable object that looks suspiciously like two hundred dollar glasses....or....My husband cranks back the Lazy Boy and we hear a sickening crunch of plastic eye wear...
I can see it all...
Yes. These new high tech 3-D televisions are recipes for disaster at my house. We've lost remotes in the couch cushions, cordless phones have disappeared into thin air, and cell phone chargers have actually gotten up and walked out of the house somewhere.
Sadly, I must face the fact that we are not responsible adults. We can't handle any extra add-ons to the already overwhelming scientific and perplexing world of gadgetry. Our technology IQ's are pretty low on the totem pole, I have to admit.
Oh, it just makes me look back on the early days...when we had to get up off our butt pillows to turn the channels. Or twist the metal knobs to find a station that "came in"... Or one that was on past midnight.
I remember when we were first married, my husband pulled on his robe and cowboy boots one night and climbed the antenna to try and pick up better reception. There I was with the window wide open in freezing weather, sticking my head out every three seconds to yell "Yes! No!Better!". And more likely than not, we watched Saturday Night Live through a veil of snow and tinny voices.
Maybe next year. Maybe when they come out with 3-D with no glasses. Maybe when we educate ourselves to the liability of owning such luxury equipment.
For now, we'll just eat our popcorn and drink our sodas and settle down to some fine old black and white movies on TMC.
Still ...I can't help dreaming about Johnny Depp....
Eat your heart out, JoAnn! :)